It's a Demigod's Life
by halfbloodMarauderX
Summary: Being a demigod has its perks. The monster slashing, training, special powers, and best of all, camp. But extra cool is balanced by extra trouble, Nemesis ensures. Random one-shots on the demigod heroes and their everyday screwballs. Jasper/Percabeth/Tratie/Charlena/Frazel and Leo in the middle causing havoc. Now with DEMIGOD LIFE: A REALITY tv show running!
1. The Time Leo Invented Demigod Internet

Everyone knew Leo Valdez was crazy with creating stuff. He just _had_ to be occupied with making something (unless he was eating or sleeping. Or maybe training). So it was no surprise when he one day found himself with nothing to do and Annabeth left her laptop unattended.

Until then, the only way for demigods to go online was 1. The special heavily celestial bronze plated room in the big house (what a waste of material) 2. The Argo II dashboard (the huge mass of Olympian material shielded the signals) and 3. Annabeth's laptop from Daedalus (the guy alone knows how its Wi-Fi works). And then Annabeth left it lying around (what the hell was she thinking) and Leo picked it up. No points for guessing what he did with it. Next thing Tartarus knew, Leo had alloyed some of whatever Olympian material he could find into the core chip of a stolen MacBook Air (supplied by the Stolls, who got it from Elysium knows where), plated a few main wires and was typing away happily.

But the Stolls had to give Leo a modem too, which, after plating, gave Leo unlimited wireless access. And the first thing Leo looked up was the urban dictionary. Naturally, he looked up the word 'ship', which was fine until the second entry.

"Hey Jennifer!" he yelled to some random passing Aphrodite girl, "Does 'ship' really refer to a romantic pairing, derived from 'relationship'?"

"Duh," Jennifer replied. "There are ship names too, like, um, Percabeth."

"Percy and Annabeth?" Leo asked.

"Obviously," Jennifer replied, rolling her eyes. "It's a combination of their names. Cabin Ten totally ships them. Even your friend Piper, although she doesn't use ship names, so you wouldn't know."

She started to walk off, apparently with better things to do than explain "shipping" to a love idiot, but Leo called out to her, "Hey, wait! You're with that Carlos guy from Hermes Cabin, right? So you guys are Carlifer!"

Jennifer looked around in case anyone heard (excited Leo's voice was loud). "It's _Carnifer_," she replied with a red face, "though Carlifer works as well." Then she walked away for good.

* * *

"Leo, I swear, if you say one more word about Percabeth, I will run you through," Percy muttered to during joint archery practice. "You're starting to sound like Silena Beauregard when she got high." He grimaced a little at the mention of the former Aphrodite Head Counselor but recovered when the Stolls walked by yelling at him.

"Hey Perce, where's you're girlfriend?" Travis shouted, waving madly.

"Yeah, I hope you don't break up, Percabeth is such a nice ship," Connor quipped, grinning and giving Leo thumbs-up. Leo winked back.

"See?" he said, turning to Percy. "You guys are so famous for being together. Not to mention staking out in the Argo stables…" he trailed off as Percy fired an arrow too hard and broke the bowstring.

* * *

"Will you _please_ don't mention _that_ if it's Reyna contacting me later?" Jason pleaded with a red face, pulling away from Piper. "It's going to get us all impaled."

"And I think her metal dogs react to _ship names_ as to lies," Piper commented.

"Oh come on! Jasper is one of the few ship names that are proper names!" Leo ranted on. "Actually, it's the only one, since Harmony is actually a variant of Harmione and I don't ship it."

Jason went redder and redder. "You'll be the death of me," he muttered, then more seriously, "You really want Reyna after my blood?"

"Am I sensing some Jeyna here?"

"Girlfriend present!"

"You know she almost gave up on you and tried to go with Percy. That's Preyna for you."

"I heard that!" Percy yelled further down the lake. Jeesh. Where did HE come from?

"Since you're so interested in Reyna's affiliations, you two should be Leona," Piper said, flushing redder than Jason. "Or Leyna, if you insist on rhyming, like some of the other girls." _Oh hell no_, Leo thought, _that's scary_.

"Speaking of which," Piper went on, "you haven't seen that fanfiction page they've started since you gave out those chips and wires, have you?"

"Actually, I have."

* * *

"Psst! Leo!"

"Huh?"

"Thanks again for the computer chips," Jennifer whispered to Leo as she passed his table on the way to make her offerings. "I can finally use that notebook Stoll sold me, and Chloe says the fanfiction site is a success. Even mortals have started posting. You should really see all those updates. Oh, and look up those mortal blogs on Tumblr while you're at it."

"No problem," Leo whispered back as Jennifer hurried away. He made a mental note to check out the fanfictions

"I learnt a lot of things off the internet and owe it all to you," Carlos whispered as he passed Leo, hurrying after Jennifer.

"She should be replying to me about that demigod video chat lines you proposed soon," Butch from Iris Cabin muttered to him as he took the long route back to his Cabin table. Wow! Demigod Internet was a success!

Travis Stoll was using 'Tratie' to flirt with Katie Gardner (who apparently didn't mind). Annabeth was shooting Leo death glares. Either Percy or Piper had told her about what happened to her laptop and he avoided eye contact. Mitchell was suggesting to Jake Mason about a 'Charlena' tribute form the next table while Piper frowned at Leo. _Your mom would love it_, he mouthed to her.

Moments later and pink note hit him on the back of his head. _It's Hazel and Frank contacting later_, it read in Piper's handwriting. _DO NOT mention Frazel to them. You know how Hazel has problems clicking with modern ways, especially stuff like this. And don't bring up Thalico if you know what's good for you._

_Killjoy_, Leo wrote back. If you don't nag I'll post a Reyna/Octavian fic for you. He tossed the note back and craned his neck to look at table 13. Nico di Angelo was not sitting there. Oh darn, Leo thought. He's at Camp Jupiter.

* * *

'**"_Dear__ fanfiction,_**

**_100 stories with Me and Reyna?! Why would I want to date someone who's gonna kill me?!_**

**_Sincerely,_**

**_Leo Valdez_**

**_P.S. She's kinda good looking tho__ugh__._"**

_Author: FlamingV_II_'

"You asked for it," Jake told Leo, looking down at him from his bunk and laughing. "Letting the Aphrodite girls set that up."

* * *

first of all, if anyone's pen name is FlamingV_II, it's purely a coincidence and I apologise.  
next, the Carlos and Jennifer is Carlos and (the) Jennifer(s) from BTR. I thought the Jennifers are typical Aphroditeans and i think theCarlifer/Carnifer is really funny  
lastly, I know Reyna/Octavian is weird but honestly, I can see it happening

-hbMx, who just bought a Mac from Connor Stoll for 10 drachmas (it's considerably cheap, but i had to give him a hex card too)


	2. The Time Stolls Made Riptide Imiatiation

"AH GODDAMN IT!"

"What's wrong, Perce?" Grover asked, timidly poking his head through the door of Cabin 3. Percy pulled Riptide out of the usual drawer where he kept it (whenever he was in a situation without pockets, that is), uncapped the pen, and threw it aside when the sword did not appear. He pulled out Riptide (again?) and did the same, with the same results.

"Cur-sed, Stolls," he muttered, pulling out yet Riptide (wait, what?) and repeating his actions. Riptide landed in the growing pile of Riptide pens (come again?) on the floor.

"Percy, even the Hunters are already here and the Showdown is starting in – " Annabeth cut short when she saw Percy and Grover uncapping and uncapping pen after pen. Her eyes drew to the pile on the floor and she cursed lightly under her breath, joining in the uncapping.

"Oh Gods, Percy, if you don't find it we can't play," Thalia yelled as she followed Annabeth into the Cabin.

"Thank you, captain obvious, whatever," Percy replied acidly. "Not my fault Stoll slashed my jeans during sword-fighting and I had to change. Bet they snuck in when I was in the bathroom."

"Which?" Grover asked.

"Who cares? They're both in it together, they always are," replied Annabeth, yanking two caps off at once.

"Well we better find it because I'm not getting kicked by both Jason _and_ Valdez," Thalia muttered. "And there's like three hundred imitations in here."

"Oh, just stick to Piper, you know Jason won't shishkebab her even when she gets too close," Annabeth said for the fourth time of the day.

Behind the cabin a huddle of kids from the Hermes and Hephaestus cabins listened to Percy and co. curse as they rummaged through the pile of fake Riptides.

"Sweet," Martin Leu from Hermes said, slapping the taller of his Senior Counselor on the back.

"Owe it all to the repair boy here," Travis Stoll replied coolly, scrunching up Leo's hair. "Got the whole lot of custom made pens of some website called atsy or whatever because of his demigod wireless. Of course we crashed the site first."

"Then we hacked that eday site or something and got spray paint because my brother forgot to key in design details so the pens came plain." Connor added. "Our dad is good with internet, see. Communication and stuff. And trickery. Mwahahaha."

"How long before you think Perce comes after your butt?" Leo joked.

The Stoll brothers grinned at each other maniacally.

"Oh, as soon as he finds the actual pen," Jaden Tenson from Hephaestus Cabin answered for them, holding up the weapon magnet he designed himself, "which will take a while. It's stuck here permanently, you see."

* * *

so here's the second story. the idea actually came from .com so credits to the admins there. Oh, and if anyone is wondering, my other pjo story Togehter will have to go on hold for a while ): I'm really busy this semester

-hbMx


	3. reality tv episode I part I

hey guys, so this is going to be a sub-series of It's a Demigod's Life. There will still be one-shots but the Stolls will always hack into the program again. in fact, they might be the ones writing this now DUN DUN DUN... but anyway, this subseries will come in the form of showscript. -hbMx

* * *

Demigod Life: The Reality

Live Reality TV Show hosted by Travis and Connor Stoll, broadcasted on Hephaestus TV whenever the twins deem fit to hack the satellite channels.

Episode I: The Cabins

Part I

VOICE

Hey there. Yeah. You.

VOICE

You know the word "life", don't you? Let me tell you something: It's actually 'L-I-F-E'

VOICE

Living in funny environment.

VOICE

That's courtesy of halfbloodMarauderX, writer

VOICE

Thank you hbMx! Now back to the show: demigod life isn't fun.

VOICE

Sometimes. But sometimes it can be

VOICE

And that's why we're here – to show you an insider's view on Camp Half-Blood, demigod lodge.

VOICE so you will really know what is a Demigod's Life – the reality

_Credits_

_Screen TRAVIS and CONNOR I front of Half-Blood Hill_

TRAVIS

I'm Travis Stoll, you're better-looking host

CONNOR

And I'm Connor Stoll, your smarter host

TRAVIS

We're not twins. Why does everybody say that?

CONNOR

Yeah do we look like twins? We might resemble Fred and George Weasley, but we don't have to be twins to have double trouble.

TRAVIS

Right now we're at Half-Blood Hill, and the cabins are down there _(points)_

_Camera cabins_

CONNOR

We currently have 20 cabins. For 20 gods' and goddess' kids duh.

TRAVIS

So now we'll introduce you to each cabin and some of their inhibitants!

_Cam twins running down hill_

CONNOR

Welcome to cabin one: Zeus. Please say 'Zoos' and not 'Zee-uhs' because we don't want to be zapped within the first 5 minutes of our pilot epidsode. No offense, Lord Zeus. You're still cool

_Camera shots of cabin one_

TRAVIS

Cabin one only has one tenant, and he's not even permanent! He's Jason Grace. He's actually roman, sired from Zeus' roman side, Jupiter. But who cares? He's awesome.

_Camera twins in front of cabin one_

CONNOR

anyway, Jason still spends a lot of time here cause he had an unfortunate fate, which led to him having crossroad friends from our aweseom greek camp. His girlfriend is also head of cabin ten, as you'll see later.

_Screen Jason and piper picture_

CONNOR contd

But right now, Jason is visiting his original camp.

_Camera cabin 2_

TRAVIS

Moving on we have cabin two: Hera. Her cabin's empty. _(whispers)_ she hates demigods. But thanks to her, Jason came along and cabin one's not forever alone!

_Camera twins between cabins 2 and 3_

CONNOR

Now the next cabin is the first one with a real greek occupant.

TRAVIS

Occupant, not occupants.

CONNOR

Yep – Percy Jackson. He's not supposed to be alive, so is Jason anyway, but he's freaking great and helps us with our work sometimes.

TRAVIS

Work, yeah.

CONNOR

Now usually we would knock on people's doors for a visit.

TRAVIS

But this case is special. You'll see soon

_Camera film going to the back of cabin 3_

CONNOR

Alright, welcome to behind cabin three

TRAVIS

See this window? Let's have a look…

_Camera view from window. PERCY and ANNABETH are together inside_

CONNOR

For those who can't tell, Percy is the guy with black hair.

TRAVIS

The blond girl is Annabeth, head counselor of cabin six, better known as Percy's girlfriend

CONNOR

Makes sense I guess, because word of caution: Annabeth may be blond, but she's scarily smart

TRAVIS

And the way Percy acts sometimes, you can't say he's very bright.

No offense, Percy. I know you don't like us interrupting your couple time with Annabeth. And ooh…

_Pushes camera out of window view as Percy and Annabeth lean in for a kiss_

TRAVIS contd

Make out scene

CONNOR

For the record, everyone at camp ships Percabeth. Even the camp director, although he calls them Peter and Annie. And look, we have some viewer comments

TRAVIS

Lady Athena says: ANNABETH CHASE WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THAT SEA SPAWN'S CABIN AND JACSON GET AWAY FROM MY DAUGHTER.

Not too nice, I guess not the entire world ships them then.

CONNOR

And Lady Aphrodite says: OMG I 3 PERCABETH THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! THEY ARE MY FAVOURITE COUPLE AND OTP!

TRAVIS and CONNOR

Aww…

_Camera shot cabin 4_

TRAVIS

And now to cabin four – Demeter.

CONNOR

The head counselor's Katie Gardner.

TRAVIS

_(whispering to camera) _She's really hot.

CONNOR

My brother fancies her.

TRAVIS

That's not true!

CONNOR

You just said she's hot.

TRAVIS

Just stating a fact! Doesn't mean anything!

CONNOR

Anyway the Demeter kids – including Katie – are working in the strawberry fields now so you won't get to see my brother stutter like an idiot yet.

TRAVIS

Meanwhile, I should tell you that the Demeter cabin is way cool

CONNOR

Yeah, literally cool.

Cooling.

TRAVIS

And it's thanks to their rooftop garden!

_Camera shot rooftop_

TRAVIS contd

It's so green.

CONNOR

You mean 'green' the ecology term or 'green' the color?

TRAVIS

Uh…both?

Oh look, there's another comment!

CONNOR

Stoll, if you want to date Katie, be prepared to eat cereal. From Lady Demeter.

TRAVIS

Don't worry Demeter I love cereal! Eat it everyday for breakfast.

CONNOR

So you do like Katie!

TRAVIS

What, no! I just like cereal! And I really eat it for my breakfast everyday. Really.

CONNOR

Whatever Mr Defensive. But now, for a quick commercial break!

* * *

okay the whole episode one is supposed to feature all 12 main cabins but it's late here i am! but this is the fastest fanfic i've written so far. wrote in in 45 minutes without temporary block! idea just suddenly hit me and the brainwave just kept running. i love inspiration when it's like that (:


	4. reality tv episode 1 part 2

DEMIGOD LIFE: THE REALITY

EPISODE 1 - THE CABINS

PART 2 [C5,8]

* * *

TRAVIS

welcome back from the commercials

CONNOR

that was fast, wasn't it?

TRAVIS

don't buy the Zombiegone in the second advertisement, it's a replication product, a rip off [A/N: (c) Big Time Decision]

CONNOR

if you one, a certain cabin might be able to brew you some real zombie repellent upon request

TRAVIS

he means Hecate cabin, kids of magic, but we won't be meeting them so soon

CONNOR

but for now, we'll get to see a really _interesting_ bunch of cabins.

TRAVIS

yes, what a variety. violent, smart, literally hot and feminist.

CONNOR

and it starts with...the Ares cabin

_camera on the weapon shaft and inside of cabin 5_

TRAVIS

one look through their window and you know you're dealing with the children of war

_twins shudder_

CONNOR

fortunately they're out training right now, or they might smash the cameras and kill the broadcast

TRAVIS

no kidding. their head counsellor is none other than Clarisse La Rue.

CONNOR

strong, buff, and basically not girly girl

TRAVIS

for those who are wondering, or have bad mental imaging, Ares just sent us her picture from Olympus.

_flash picture of clarisse with dead drakon from TLO_

CONNOR (OFFSCREEN)

this came with the lovely threat that we would die if we didn't put this picture up

TRAVIS (OFFSCREEN)

we don't take these chances

CONNOR

by the way, that thing is a drakon

TRAVIS

a kind of ancient, giant, almost-indestructible dragon

CONNOR

we say almost because Clarisse destryoed it

TRAVIS

why do you think she's dragging the carcass around?

CONNOR

but you can't charge into a war without plan

TRAVIS

_to CONNOR_ you could

_awkward pause_

TRAVIS contd

but you would die...I guess

CONNOR

_to camera_ and folks, this is why I'm the smarter host

TRAVIS

but I'm still better looking than you!

CONNOR

Well dear brother, our next cabin would tell you brains over brawns, because cabin 6 houses the children of Athena, goddess of wisdom and battle strategy

TRAVIS

you just saw their head counsellor a while ago at the Poseidon cabin.

CONNOR

you guessed right - it's Annabeth Chase, girlfriend of Percy Jackson, architect of Olympus, Head Counsellor of cabin 6 and too smart for her own good

TRAVIS

do NOT call her - or any other cabin 6 resident for that matter - a dumb blond. You may as well pick a fight with the Ares children.

CONNOR

because they are definitely smarter than you. unless you're the smartest athenian demigod around.

_camera the library and lots of bookshelves_

TRAVIS (OFFSCREEN)

Yes, so if books are your thing, you might be in Athena cabin studying pretty soon, even if you still have dyslexia and ADHD and stuff like that

CONNOR

but even if you don't end up in there, ou can still be smart like me

TRAVIS

BUT cabin 7 is really hot. Not travis-stoll-good-looking-hot but like really, really HOT

_camera pans to the afternoon sun above_

CONNOR (offscreen)

Oh what an afternoon

TRAVIS (offscreen)

standing under the sweltering heat talking to cameras. ah well, the show must go on

CONNOR (OFFSCREEN)

yes, so, you might be shocked if I said Apollo is the sun god. _mimics protesting kid_ Helios is the god of the sun!

TRAVIS (OFFSCREEN)

Let me tell you: the romans started downsizing, Helios faded and Apollo got the job

CONNOR (OFFSCREEN)

it's not all that bad. he got a new ferrari. I mean sun chariot

_flash video feed of glowing sports car on the GRANDPRIX track_

TRAVIS (OFFSCREEN)

And he's still a great archer

_video feed of arrows hitting the bullseye_

TRAVIS contd

and the god of music

_camera shifts to CONNOR sitting on the steps in front of the glowing cabin with a guitar strumming and SINGING_

CONNOR

SAAAaaAY YOooOu'LL SHARE WITH ME ONE LOOooVEe ONE LIFETiiIMe...

TRAVIS

_manually turns camera to himself_ but not that kind of music

CONNOR (OFFSCREEN)

hey! I'm good okay! _strums angrily_

TRAVIS

_to offscreen_ Not as good as me! _to camera_ Watch.

_TRAVIS snatches guitar from CONNOR_

TRAVIS contd

_singing_ Try see it my way, do I have to keep on talking till I can't go on? Why see it your way, running round and knowing that our love will still be gone? We can work it out, we can work it o-ut...

[A/N: (c) The Beatles]

_passes guitar back to CONNOR_

_to camera_ Now THAT"S charming

CONNOR

practicing to ask Katie Gardner out huh? Cause Aphrodite just commented that you should try "Boyfriend".

_sings_ Have you ever had the feeling you're drawn to someone...yeah...

[A/N: (c) Big Time Rush]

TRAVIS

Al-right train for your popstar future later, we have a show to run

CONNOR

right then. The Apollo campers are currently hitting the bull's eyes at the archery range, which will be seen next episode.

TRAVIS

Meanwhile, here's another bunch of demigods who can hit the target spot on

CONNOR

If you're thinking twins, then great minds think alike, because I'm thinking Cabin 8.

TRAVIS

which is the twin of Cabin 7. Presenting...Artemis!

_video feed of Cabin 8 glowing as sun sets_

TRAVIS (voiceover)

_dramatic voice_ As the sun goes down over Half-Blood Hill, the moon rises, and the Artemis cabin starts glowing...

CONNOR

_breaking video feed_ Just in case you're going all _fake voice_ "Whaaat? Artemis is a maiden goddess she can't have kids!", chill

TRAVIS

Cabin 8 is honorary. But it also houses the Hunters of Artemis whenever they drop by.

CONNOR

currently,their lieutenant is Thalia Grace, who is originally a daughter of Zeus and so happenes to be Jason Grace's sister.

_flash picture of Thalia__ with shield and spear_

TRAVIS

it used to be this old fashioned talk girl, Zöe Nightshade

_flash picture of Zoe scowling in the rec room meeting_

CONNOR

her father Atlas backstabbed her

_flash picture of statue of atlas holding up sky_

TRAVIS

the perks of being a demigod

CONNOR

demititan. Atlas was a titan.

TRAVIS

Perks of being a demi-whatever

_both lower heads for silence_

CONNOR

_snapping head up and smiling as if no one's death was mentioned_ but on the bright side, there was this other girl, what's her name? Perry? Phoebe!

TRAVIS

Yours truly put her out of action for a while with the original centaur-blood stained shirt idea. She was really annoying.

CONNOR

_relishes_ vicotory IS sweet...but glowing cabins are cool. And that's what cabin 8 is at night, as Travis showed you earlier.

TRAVIS

but we'll show you again

_repeat video feed_

TRAVIS contd (VOICEOVER)

If Apollo got the sun, it only makes sense his sister Artemis got the moon

CONNOR (VOICEOVER)

we don't know if she got some sleek Porsche or anything of the sort though

TRAVIS (VOICEOVER)

but you might be tempted to buy one in the upcoming advertisement break

CONNOR (VOICEOVER)

Afterwards we round up the Olympic council, and meet some special friends.

BOTH (VOICEOVER)

stay tuned!

_ends with video feed fading out to black_

* * *

Aaaaaaaand...CUT! The Stolls are really good at live shooting aren't they? By the way, do you happen to know where they get their film equipment from? *wink* Also, the camera man will be revealed in Part 3!


End file.
